frameworks of life
I turn 30 in about 2 years.
This second-half is going to be confusing and frameworks will be my walking stick for a myriad of situations that come along.
I like to believe that an optimal way to live life is to define a structure, a time table, a guideline for things I do, and then live by it. As structures are dependable, instead of feeling arduous, they can reduce the cognitive load of having to rethink over every scenario. That effort was done long ago.
Moral
In recent years, I’ve developed a sense of moral compass that guides me through life. Having a neutral stance is the “objective” way, but it is rarely easy. We naturally gravitate towards finding something wrong/right, good/bad based on how we have experienced life.
Lately, this has made me take active measures to try and be a better person in general. Not for others, but for my own happiness. It’s easier to lie to the world, but we can’t shut the voices in our head.
A nice general goal is to be a good person in life. One that also does not inherently assume the worst in others. A good chunk of time gets wasted away in this pursuit. It gets us nowhere. This does not mean that obvious hints are ignored and we just keep accepting wrongdoings.
Moral Superiority is a bad thing. It clouds judgement. It makes us think based on biases and not reason.
Doing good to others but making our close ones suffer for it is also not a nice thing. We must be kind to everyone as much as we can. If we only do good because we want some positive responses from people, we tend to take our close ones for granted.
Decision Making
In the coming years, we might face uncertainty more often than not. Our minds are going to be blank and we will have to make the most out of what we have.
Details are important, but obsessing over them can lead to tunnel vision. Looking at the problem in its entirety adds reason whenever we lose track of it.
Taking stock of the situation helps us fight the urge to panic-act. It has never done good, it will never do good. Calming our nerves could possibly be the best thing that we do for ourselves.
When we know that our situation is common for many, taking opinions from a diverse yet relevant audience helps us avoid re-inventing the wheel. I like to believe that people experienced in any field have a lot of insights to share, and they can be incredibly helpful. If we take time to understand why people choose to think in a particular way, it builds our knowledge about the world.
Eventually, owning our decisions is important. They define us in many ways. They set an anchor point to our wandering mind and remind us of what we are, despite failure or success.
Failure
Failures will happen. Because we did not decide soon enough. Decided way too soon. An opportunity missed. A hurtful comment made. Struggling to understand a concept. Failed an exam. Many things could happen. Define our own failure. And use our definition as a benchmark. If we are under the benchmark, acceptance will be the only way to be grounded in reality and course-correct.
As long as we are physically and mentally healthy, financially stable, and have a few good connections, we have not failed. This positive reinforcement is crucial to remain sane.
Ambitions
An important goal in our lives is to save and grow wealth as money tends to solve a lot of issues. Like managing hospital bills, fulfilling some overdue dreams and hobbies.
There have been times when wanting something led me to emotional suffering due to the immense effort I put into achieving it. Only to find emptiness when I eventually achieved it. There was nothing left to do after. And I found myself jumping to something new to fill the void.
Ambitions aren’t bad. They can help us create a path to follow. What matters is that ambitions do not become greed. Greed makes one have abject disregard for others and hold a mindset that “my wants are more important than others’”, while uncontrolled ambitions make us forget that we can’t achieve everything.
Learning/Work
Learning should be a never-ending affair. Something that sparks interest can keep the brain healthy for a long time to come. Reading stimulates the brain too. It pushes the mind to visualize the scenes from words which fuel creativity.
As long as it is feasible, we should keep working. For others or for ourselves. For money or for free. Because it will give us a mission to follow, look up to, keep us motivated and distracted during tough times in life.
I hate sounding rhetorical and preachy, and I can’t help but notice that this write-up is mostly that. My hope is that as I grow, it evolves into something of substance.
Ultimately, it was my effort to create a proverbial “walking stick” when the days are tough and I don’t have anyone to lean on for answers.
And despite all this, a hard rule is that no guideline or framework should have a negative impact on others.